All posts by James Kilgarriff

Interview on what is Coaching

I was interviewd by one of my clients a couple of years ago who now runs an online podcast show. It gives you an idea of what is coaching versus what is therapy. Points on how to market and focus on one niche rather than trying to cover too many market sector and more…


If you are not growing you are dying

One of my mentors T Harv Eker uses the line “if you are not growing, you are dying”.

Imagine a plant that is lacking sunlight and water. The chances are the plant will wither and die. In other words it the environment in which it is trying to grow is not working. The plant needs the right kind of circumstances in order for it to flourish and grow.

What kind of environment are you operating in? Are you growing or dying? If you are not dying, are you at a standstill, perhaps stuck or just coasting along? You may be great at your job, you know it back to front. People speak well of you and yet you know deep inside that you are on a plateau and you don’t know how to make that all important change.

Every time we reach a new level of skill this automatically becomes the norm and so the mind gets used to it and that then becomes the new comfort zone. The moment we stop learning and stretching is the moment we may lose the edge, fall back slowly and fell tired and fed up. The Law of Momentum is working in the opposite direction. The Law of Momentum goes something like this “that which is in motion tends to stay in motion and that which is at a standstill remains that way”

If you don’t ramp yourself up to the next level you will start feeling frustrated, ill at ease or some other negative emotion which really is feedback to you that some kind of action or new way of operating in the world is called for. You know the saying ”if you don’t use it, you lose it”. That could be a skill, a way of operating in the business world or a way of relating to others.

So to get past this stagnant state we have to start taking small steps or what I term “micro changes” in order to change the pattern. If we don’t then the pattern becomes our prison and we just coast and get stuck.

Let’s take the example of exercising. You work out regularly, however, if you do the same work out over and over again, the body will adapt and you go into cruise control. Professional athletes and body builders change up their routines often. They use muscle confusion to keep the body a great shape and very responsive. Although these professionals are getting results, they do not rest for too long working on a specific routine. They push, they adapt and they stay alert. Some take a relentless attitude as that is what gets them results. That’s why they win medals and competitions.

If you hardly exercise or stop exercising the body then goes into entropy. How does this apply to the mind? Well the body is like the mind, it needs to be exercised and stretched otherwise it settles and life takes on a mediocre flavour and stagnant mental states become the normal way of thinking. Does any of this relate to you?

If you are sick and tired of being in a job you are probably sick and tired of maintaining that position. You are basically sick of tired of being sick and tired. In other words you are not growing. Tony Robbins, the great personal development teacher points out that we have six basic needs and one of those needs is the need to grow.

Have you had enough of tolerating the status quo? Are you ready to do whatever takes to ignite your inner flame again be it in your business, relationships or general health?

Great! Decide now, choose growth and do whatever it takes to make that happen.

How to get in the game and succeed

So many people who are thinking of launching their business spend months or even years trying to work out a master plan in order to win the game of business. Many of my clients have researched, read all the books , attended conferences and spent many, many thousands of dollars in order to get clear and start their business or the project that will give them the big break they have been dreaming about for years. However, it just does not go to plan after so much time invested.

Often what comes from this kind of thinking is a deep blockage that most of us are familiar with which is perfectionism. Perfectionism goes hand in hand with procrastination and the two are the dynamic duo that keep you from making any real progress towards a goal, dream or plan.

So many of my clients who need coaching have either a procrastination streak or perfectionist streak and in most cases both. Buying into these mind states leads to frustration, nothing gets done and when looking back regret and suffering because someone else picked up on a business idea and actually implemented it. As a result self esteem gets knocked out then in some cases consider giving up on the dream.

Its sad but true that many of us have million dollar ideas popping into our heads every week and yet we lack the wherewithal to do anything about the ideas and not get into the game.

Working as a coach with personal development guru, T Harv Eker, I like his simple formula for getting into the game so you can stand a chance of winning. It goes like this: “I get Ready… I Fire… I  Aim!”.

That seems so simple and yet most of us prefer to get ready, then aim, and fire. This model of thinking is where we get slowed down and implement very slowly, if at all. Harv Eker also tells a story of “getting the ducks in a row”. It goes like this: “when I get all the ducks in a row then I will launch the new product or business”. Have you ever seen ducks swimming in a row?  If so for how long? If you throw a tiny pebble into a pond there is chaos and the ducks swim everywhere. This is much like your best laid plans. After about week 2, someone throws a pebble into your pond and suddenly you have to re arrange the goal posts which was not part of your plan. Does this relate to you in anyway?

I know it has related to me and for too long! The ducks in a row syndrome just does not work in the business world. In most cases it is to get ready, which means doing some research and finding out, then aim which means getting the product out or web site out which may be in a sloppy state right now, then aim which means to monitor and change as you go along.

This is how a plane works when flying between say Los Angeles and New York. Ninety per cent of the time it is off course and has to re adjust itself as it moves between the two cities. However, the plane arrives on time and at the right airport.

Have you noticed when a software company such as Microsoft release a new software version in most cases there are software bugs in the new release that take months to iron out? The thing is Microsoft know that the product is not perfect. They know the software release will have challenges yet they get the product out there and monitor the feedback and make quick changes to the point the software becomes stable and usable for most people. Perhaps we should take note of this and just get the stuff out there and get in the game!

If you found this article useful then drop me a line. I help business owners get in the game and drop their procrastination and perfectionist strategies and replace it with progress and success.


Long term vision and short term actions

Having a vision for your business or life is great as a vision pulls you forward rather than you having to keep motivating yourself to go after it. A pulling energy is more attractive than a pushing one. Long terms vision needs to be matched with short term actions.

Alot of people I coach spent alot of thime working on their vision and strategies to the point where this take up more time than it should and so the day to day actions are pushed to the side. The thing is although having a Vision is great but the consistent actions don’t correspond to the vision then nothing much happens. You just have a cool and compelling vision and feeling frustrated at the same time.

Think in terms of macro and micro. Macro is seeing the wider picture and this is vision and strategy. Ideally you should consider about 3% of the process on the macro and the 97% on building systems and focusing on day to day actions.

So your macro thinking could be “To be financially free within 5 years earning passive incomes of  $1 million so I can go and create an education center in Africa”. This is your Guiding Principle or a spotlight and what will give you a sense of purpose and inspiration.

Thats exciting and you have a sense of where the path will take you. Now its important to ask a good question. Questions hook the mind so you better ask resourceful questions to get resourceful answers!

I recently read a great book called “the One Thing” which is all about focusing on that one vision and having a crystal clear understanding of the key priority in your life. A great question that has the potential to clear away the clutter and distraction as you head to your vision is: “Whats the One Thing I can do today to make my 5 year vsion more real such by doing it everything else would be easier or unnecessary?”

That kind of question really focuses the mind. You can use the same question for a time scale of a week or month. “Whats the One Thing I can do this month to make my 5 year vision a reality such by doing it everything else would be easier or uncessesary?”

The key point is to get back to today, to now and do what is next and do one thing each day in a consisitent manner and before you know it, the law of momentum has kicked in and you are well on your way!

One word of caution and that is don’t take on the attitude of “when I get to my 5 year vision, then I will be happy”. Defering happiness is not the goal here. It is about enjoying where you are now, each and every day because the attitude you start off with will be the attitude you will take on in the future. For example if you are tight with money and you are struggling financially, when you get wealth you may end up as a tight rich person! You take yourself wherever you go!

In summary, Create your vision and focus on one thing you know you can do today and keep that consistency going.


Why a CEO needs support through a transformation of a business

In today´s business world of fast change and aggressive innovation, CEOs are more and more looking for ways to leverage their talents and abilities and lead their organisations to the next level of business expression. The same goes for CEO´s – many are striving to become the next version of themselves but don’t know how or where to start to make that all important change.

Reading about transition or transformation or going to conferences and talking about it is one thing but it is a whole new level when it comes to taking the journey up to the next level. It requires rigorous inner world game changing and once in place the outer world game is impacted in a more positive and sustainable way.

I have coached a number of CEOs and the feedback I get from them is that at times they lose perspective of the bigger vision, the inability to fully separate thoughts from feelings and a key one is to focus on the highest leverage opportunities and have someone to keep them accountable throughout the process. To monitor and manage the shifts along the way to optimal choices are made.

Coaching and supporting a CEO is not only helping her stay motivated to take actions. Taking lots of actions is one thing but also knowing how to navigate the roadblocks and emotional pains require skilled levels of awareness and mental reframing so that the business leader has cleared the path to make an important transition.

CEOs sometimes are not aware of the subtle differences of transition and transformation. A transition could be to raise the profit levels of the business by 50%. A transformation could be to systemize the business, raise the profit levels and sell the business within 2 years. Coaching and support is significantly different between a transition to raise profits versus a transformation to systemizing and selling the business.

Support in transition tends to require less time compared to a transformation. A transformation is like building the next floor of a high rise. The transition part is ensuring the concrete posts and simple framework is in place before the full implementation of the floor is initiated which are the windows, office partitions, design, furniture and technology etc. This is simply a metaphor and the metaphor is pointing to the differences between a transition and transformation when it comes to the inner and outer world of a CEO or business leader.

So if you are a business leader looking for a serious transformation consider what frameworks and building blocks need to be put in place. Wanting and hoping for a transformation is one thing but doing the work, handling the mental and emotional changes when change like this is upon a leader is a whole different ball game and ongoing support and honest feedback are essential to a successful and sustainable transformation.

Is money running your life?

In a recent webinar I had a coaching client on a call who commented: “ I am happy when I have money coming in and unhappy when the money stops coming in. When sales are rolling in I feel confident and secure about my future but when sales stop or slow down I feel anxious and I lose my motivation”.

I am sure you can relate to that at times. I know I have had these experiences. The question you may want to ask yourself is “What does money mean to me?”. Common answers are. “When I am in the money I feel secure and in control of my life or I fell more free”. So reflect on what money means to you for a few seconds.

Now what happens when the money is not flowing into your life? Do you feel insecure, losing control or feeling stuck and even powerless?

If a lack of money has any of these effects on your life then money is running you! The same also goes for wanting success. For example, I have heard a client say “when I get the success I need then I will be happy” or “when I get 10,000 a month then I will be happy”.

The takeway here is to realize that when you set up conditions around money or success you are setting yourself up for unhappiness! You have to find a way to separate money and success from happiness and unhappiness. Is this easy to do? Well, no, not at the beginning because we are so conditioned by the media, family and friends that a certain amount of money is needed in order to feel worthy, happy or approved.

At the end of the day the confidence, security and happiness comes from You and not from a condition. Yes, money is important and success is great to have, that is for sure. So go for the success or the money for the aim of that and not to pin your hopes on it for some future happiness when everything suddenly clicks together.

If you want money then don’t chase money. Money is a result and getting the money is a process. The best way to attract money into your life, apart from an inheritance or winning the lottery, is to create value for others by solving specific problems and then packaging up a solution that appeals to a market niche. More on this in a future article.

Leave a comment if you found this article relevant to you.

What coaching is Not

As a coach to clients around the world I notice certain clients have a perception or viewpoint of what they think having a coach . When they know what it is not they sometimes get upset or at least have their assumptions challenged. From that point clients then know that they are the ones with the resources and answers to work through their challenges and create their opportunities.

Coaching is not a magic pill that after, say, 4 months you will be living a perfect life, financially free, in a great relationships and all your problems are sorted and you have arrived. In fact coaching may be a catalyst to bring up deeper unresolved pain and resistance that needs to come up before true healing and resolution can take place.

I have been on the personal development path for some years. I have attended some great personal development events, met with the gurus and bought the programs that will solve all my problems. What I have observed is that the blueprint coaching programs that are sold from the stage give the impression that when you sign up, all your troubles are over and somehow the coach is going to do something to you and and you will get that financial freedom or relationship or that ripped body.Yes, coaching will speed up the process to the results you want that is for sure. However, too much emphasis is on the coaching doing it for you or the program doing it for you.

This is what I call over promising and under delivering. This can set the student up for alot of disappointment because after say a 4 months program they are left feeling resentment that the promise of that financial freedom has not even started! So the coaching did not work for them.You may have experienced this yourself.

I am not suggesting that this happens to everyone. There are clients who have a very good idea of what they want to achieve. They may have worked on an issue for some time and they are “ripe” for a transformation. For example, someone who runs a business making $100,000 a year wants to get to the next level. They have their customer base, have a great product and support. The coaching support framework can cause a client to move very quickly. There is something to work with and with ongoing brainstorming of ideas and accountability with a coach and the client taking consistent action, the $100,000 climbs to $120,000 in a few months and then an exponential earnings may start to kick in. In a way the Law of momentum is enabled through the coaching relationship.

When you are clear and specific as to what you want, the coaching process moves at a faster speed. If you have no clue as to what you want, it may take one to three months to get clear on what your natural gifts and talents, your vision are and how you overlay that to the business you want to create or the relationship you want etc.

So coaching is not a quick fix solution if you are not clear from day one as to what you want. The coach is not really in a position to pull rabbits out of a hat and your problems are solved in 3 sessions. It can happen but it is not a regular occurrence. I read somewhere “if your coach tells you what to do, sack him/her”!.

Coaching is a support structure that helps you move through your process of enfoldment faster, resolving deeper issues that need to be resolved so you are freed up with more energy to create coming from a more aligned space. So it is a process of evolution with many twists and turns.

If you found this article thought provoking or have any questions please leave me a comment and I will respond as and when I see some comments coming through.